If you're ready to attract your dream partner,

and you know deep in your heart and soul that you want sacred union,

then the first step is to go in and realize that sacred union is inside.

And I know you probably heard that so many times, and you're like:

 “No, I don't want more inner work, I just want it to happen on the outside.”

Well… it's gonna happen on the inside first. And that is a place of no compromise.

1. No Compromise With Yourself

When attracting a sacred union, the first thing is to not compromise your relationship to the true love within. Meaning no matter what it takes, you're going to sit with the uncomfortable notion of all the parts that you want to reject, and the parts that you don't love.

You're gonna take that painful step sometimes to sit and gaze into the mirror of truth, and see what you're rejecting and not loving inside. And hold those deep into your heart… deep into your heart. And with all your might, love all those rejected, so-called ugly parts of yourself.

It is like a deep homecoming. Those parts need to come home into the furnace of your heart, and have to burn through that ache of loving all those parts that you feel are unworthy or unlovable.

To burn away the illusion that love is a certain thing or a certain way… to come out of the fantasy of this great love that is shiny and glamorous, to bring it to its true authentic nature. It's almost like opening up and peeling away those rosy-coloured lenses on the eyes, and seeing love for what it is.

2. Come Out of the Fantasy of Love

It's to draw those parts home, first of all. And to come out of the fantasy of love that you've learnt since you're a kid — that I learnt since I'm a kid watching Walt Disney — that all the media and whatever else taught us to believe about love, which is this illusory romance… and bring it to its raw bones.

Love is loving those parts that wanna run away, that feel they deserve to be rejected. And to hold those deep into your heart like little children that are shaking and wanting to run away — and you hold them into your heart.

That's the first thing: come out of the illusion of love and get into the realness of it. The muckiness of love. The messiness of it inside of yourself.

If you're someone who keeps looking for it outside and gets distracted, bring that home. That eager looking outside — bring it home and really see where you need love, deep love, inside. And do that work. Whatever it takes, sit with it every day a little bit.

And get support — get help, get the therapy, get the sister, the brother, to show you where you're running away from yourself.

3. Stop Running Away — Don’t Compromise

No. 1: Come into the reality. Stop running away.
No. 2: Don't compromise. Don't compromise that which you know feels good to your heart and soul.

If you're in a relationship or attracting connections where you're like: “Ah… this is the best I'll get… ah… I don't know if this is the person… I don't know if this is the person…”

And that can last for years sometimes. You're with someone and you're always thinking: “I don't know if this is the right person.”
Then sorry — it's not the right person.

You will know when it's the right person. Why? Because your being relaxes. You feel safe. You feel like you're at home with that person. You can be yourself.

So don't compromise that feeling of being yourself and feeling at home.

4. Clear Your Inner Space

Give yourself the space and time you need — the spaciousness you need — to create a home and a sanctuary for yourself. So that when someone comes into your life, they're entering a space that is like a sanctuary, not cluttered with all your exes and all your expectations.

Start to clear that space.

If you've still got all these ties with exes or with past relationships, and it's all a muddle and a mess — do what you can to clear that. Go to the water, go into a river, cleanse yourself of that. Make a fire, write a letter, burn it — whatever you need that feels right for you.

Clear your space to make space for someone to come into your field. So you can attract someone who's not messy and muddled and confused — attract someone who's like:

“Boom. I see you. I choose you. I'm committing to you.”

So you commit to yourself first. That's a very important step.

5. Commitment

Huh… can I take a pause there for a moment?
So there's no compromise.

Oh — there's another step.
Okay. Commitment. Huh. Commitment. Ah yeah. Thank you.

What did I just say? Commitment — didn't I just say?
Ah. Yeah. Okay. Good, good, good.

Thank you Chris, yeah, you did the wise class alright.

Then comes commitment. Commitment is such an important vibration.

If you're not committed, and you're not committed to loving yourself, and you're not committed to creating a container of love — a home, a sanctuary — then how is someone gonna meet you in commitment?

If you want commitment, you will vibrate commitment, and it will be felt by another.

If you want to commit to someone, you have to stop keeping all your options open to other beings. Or if you're someone who says:

“I wanna commit to one person,”
but you're constantly seeing 10 people at the same time…

Then it’s very unlikely anyone will feel safe enough to enter your sphere, your zone, your container, and feel like they wanna commit to you — if you're not committed because you're afraid of commitment.

6. If You Fear Commitment, Be Gentle

If the word commitment makes you want to run away, then it's like coaxing a little child who's hiding under the table:

“Come here… it's safe.”

You don't drag the kid into your arms. You gently, very gently, sit there patiently until the child comes out from under the table and runs into your arms.

Or like a very scared cat — you don't drag the cat into your arms. You sit there patiently, maybe for days, for months, until the cat comes and feels safe.

Same with commitment.

If you're afraid of commitment, gently welcome commitment — it's like welcoming a scared child back into your arms. Be patient with yourself.

If you know you wanna commit and you're ready for commitment, you will not distract yourself from that commitment.

7. Distraction vs. Focus

The opposite of commitment is distraction.

If you're saying “I wanna commit,” but you're distracting yourself all the time — seeing a lot of people, going into many social circles, having way too many friends that you can't commit to deeply, committing to too many projects…

Come out of that scatteredness.

Choose one thing.
Choose a few friends.
Choose one good project and commit to that.

Oh my God — you're gonna find someone right there who's like:

“Oh my God, I'm ready to commit to you. Let's build a house, let's build a life, let's build magic together.”

8. Sensuality & Sexual Relationship With Yourself

Then comes your relationship to your sexuality.

If you wanna have a healthy sexual life, this sexual energy has to flow with yourself — meaning you have to be a good lover to yourself, a sensual partner with yourself.

"It's okay… my digger stopped and my balls is coming, yeah… but it's okay. I'm gonna do the whole sexual part again, okay? So that we can cut it."

And then comes your relationship to your sensual body — to your life force energy, or call it even sexual energy.

If you have a good, healthy relationship with your sensual body, and you live well in your body as a sensual being — which is a beautiful thing — it's not a shameful thing. It's a very sacred relationship to your body, to your genitals, to your heart, to your skin, to the way you live in your body.

This will determine what kind of relationship you attract.

If you cannot cultivate a good relationship with your own genitals, and you hate them, or you only use them when you're frustrated or want a moment of pleasure but otherwise discard them — you may attract someone who treats you that way too.

This is a sacred part of personal relating — you with yourself, your soul with your body.

Begin to create a sacred relationship with your sensual body. Start with yourself. This will determine what kind of person steps into your life.

If you're taking the first step and you're like:
“Ooh, I've never done that before,”
wonderful. Start with sensitivity, care, gentleness.

You might attract someone who's also at the beginning of that and says:

“Hey, I'm there too. Let's do this together. Let's find out more about that together.”

So you don’t feel used or abused — instead you feel like:

“Wow, I’m cultivating a sacred temple life… a sacred sensual relationship with myself and with another.”

9. Sacred Union as Creativity

Finally, there's the sense of coming together in creative energy.

A karmic relationship is one where you burn through things of the past together. Nothing wrong with that.

But sacred union is different.

You will still have fire, friction, arguments — but you'll use them as creative power.

Union becomes creative energy:

• You'll create a home together.
  
  
• You'll create a family together.
  
  
• You'll create a business together.
  
  
• You'll create a hobby together.
  
  

Sacred union becomes a creative life — not a destructive life of arguments and hiding and secrecy and agitation.

Even the friction becomes a playing field for more energy and more creativity.

10. Conclusion

These are some of the ways to take the steps to come into a beautiful, sacred relationship — first of all with yourself — and then it's bound to happen on the outside.

It needs patience.
It needs trust.
But more than anything, it takes a deep relationship right here:

Body. Heart. Soul.

Yeah… and it's bound to happen.

Sacred union begins within.
Join our Silent Retreat and create the inner sanctuary where true love can grow.